Un studiu longitudinal, de peste 75 de ani, ajunge la concluzia ca ceea ce mentine oamenii sanatosi si bine dispusi sunt relatiile! Si nu doar existenta lor, ci calitatea lor!
Din pacate, nici in acest montaj nu se spune cum se dezvolta relatiile, cum se mentin relatiile, cum crestem calitatea unei relatii si cum se inchid relatiile toxice!
Si chiar daca ar fi facut-o ... viata bate orice sugestie!
***
What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life?
The Harvard Study of Adult Development
may be the longest study
of adult life that's ever been done.
For 75 years, we've tracked
the lives of 724 men,
year after year, asking about their work,
their home lives, their health,
and of course asking all along the way
without knowing how their life stories
were going to turn out.
So what have we learned?
What are the lessons that come
from the tens of thousands of pages
of information that we've generated
on these lives?
Well, the lessons aren't about wealth
or fame or working harder and harder.
The clearest message that we get
from this 75-year study is this:
Good relationships keep us
happier and healthier. Period.
We've learned three big lessons
about relationships.
The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.
The first is that social connections are really good for us, and that loneliness kills. It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected. And the experience of loneliness turns out to be toxic. People who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.
And we know that you
can be lonely in a crowd
and you can be lonely in a marriage,
so
the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
the second big lesson that we learned is that it's not just the number of friends you have, and it's not whether or not you're in a committed relationship, but it's the quality of your close relationships that matters. It turns out that living in the midst of conflict is really bad for our health. High-conflict marriages, for example, without much affection, turn out to be very bad for our health, perhaps worse than getting divorced. And living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective.
And the third big lesson that we learned
about relationships and our health
is that good relationships
don't just protect our bodies,
they protect our brains.
So this message,
that good, close relationships
are good for our health and well-being,
this is wisdom that's as old as the hills.
Why is this so hard to get
and so easy to ignore?
Well, we're human.
What we'd really like is a quick fix,
something we can get
that'll make our lives good
and keep them that way.
Relationships are messy
and they're complicated
and the hard work of tending
to family and friends,
it's not sexy or glamorous.
It's also lifelong. It never ends.
I'd like to close with a quote
from Mark Twain.
More than a century ago,
he was looking back on his life,
and he wrote this:
"There isn't time, so brief is life,
for bickerings, apologies,
heartburnings, callings to account.
There is only time for loving,
and but an instant,
so to speak, for that."
***
Simplu, dar atat de greu!
Niciun comentariu:
Trimiteți un comentariu